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The term “gaslighting” is not just found online and is not a new term by any means. If you are thinking that this term has anything to do with lighting in a physical sense, you would be wrong. Here you will find the meaning of this slang term, its origin, and other meanings if there are any available.
You will also find some example conversations using the term correctly to help you better understand the term and you will see some alternative words or phrases that you can use instead of using this term in conversation to relay the same message.
“Gaslighting” Meaning, Origin and Usage
Key Takeaways
- The term “gaslighting” means deliberately messing with someone’s head by intentionally doing things to alter their state of reality. It is a form of mental abuse whereby the abuser does things intentionally to make a victim think they are going crazy.
“Gaslighting” Meaning
“Gaslighting” is a form of psychological manipulation where someone makes another person question their reality, memory, or perception of events. The goal is often to create confusion, self-doubt, or dependency, causing the manipulated person to feel disoriented or even to believe they are “losing it.”
Examples of gaslighting behavior:
- Denying facts: “That never happened. You’re imagining things.”
- Twisting words: “I never said that. You must be hearing things.”
- Minimizing feelings: “You’re being too sensitive. You’re overreacting.”
Origin of “Gaslighting”
The term “gaslighting” was born in 1938 when an author by the name of Patrick Hamilton wrote a play called Gas Light. The play was followed up with two feature films by the same name, one in 1940 and a remake in 1944. In the film, the husband searches for jewels of the woman he murdered upstairs in their attic. While searching, he turns on the upstairs gas lights to see better, which dims the lights downstairs. The wife notices the dimming and mentions this to her husband who tells her the lights are the same and she is just imagining things. The wife notices other things as well, but when she brings them to the attention of her husband he denies them and tells her she is going insane and going to have her committed to a mental institution. This is where the term “gaslighting” and its definition originated from and it has been popularly used since in the field of psychological medicine.
Usage of “Gaslighting”
1. In a personal relationship:
- “Every time I bring up an issue, he denies it and twists my words. I think he’s gaslighting me.”
(Referring to a partner manipulating the other into questioning their own perceptions or reality.)
2. Talking about manipulation in the workplace:
- “My boss keeps telling me that my reports are wrong, even though I know I’ve done them correctly. It feels like gaslighting.”
(Describing a workplace situation where an authority figure manipulates an employee into doubting their abilities.)
3. In the context of emotional abuse:
- “She told me I was overreacting to the situation, but now I’m starting to doubt if I really was. I think it was gaslighting.”
(Describing a situation where someone makes the other person feel insecure or unsure of their emotional response.)
4. During a discussion about social or political issues:
- “The government is gaslighting the public by spreading misinformation and denying facts that we all know are true.”
(Referring to manipulation or denial of reality on a larger, societal scale.)
5. In a conversation about toxic behavior:
- “He keeps telling me that I’m imagining things, even when I have proof. It’s classic gaslighting.”
(Explaining how someone manipulates another into doubting their perceptions or actions.)
6. In a therapeutic or self-help context:
- “Recognizing the signs of gaslighting is an important step in protecting your mental health.”
(Discussing gaslighting in the context of psychological well-being and self-care.)
Related Terms to “Gaslighting”
- Manipulation: Influencing someone to think or act in a way that benefits the manipulator, often without the person’s full awareness.
- Narcissistic Abuse: A type of abuse associated with narcissistic individuals who seek to control or diminish others to boost their own self-esteem.
- Emotional Abuse: A broad term for behaviors that harm a person’s emotional or psychological well-being, including gaslighting.
- Projection: Accusing someone of having the same thoughts, feelings, or actions that the accuser is experiencing or displaying themselves.
- Blame-Shifting: Placing blame on others to avoid responsibility or accountability.
- Invalidation: Dismissing or minimizing someone’s feelings or experiences, making them feel unimportant or irrational.
- Mind Games: Manipulative tactics used to confuse, control, or belittle another person.
- Psychological Abuse: A type of abuse intended to harm someone’s mental state, often by instilling self-doubt or fear.
- Triangulation: Drawing a third person into conflicts to manipulate the situation and create divisions.
- Victim-Blaming: Holding someone responsible for their misfortune or harm done to them, making them feel at fault.
Alternatives to “Gaslighting”
There are several words or phrases that you can use to replace the term “gaslighting” in conversation and convey the same meaning. Some of the substitute words or phrases you could use include:
- psychological abuse
- manipulating
- brainwashing
“Gaslighting” Examples
Example Sentences
- “He kept denying things he said, making her feel like she was losing her memory—classic gaslighting.”
- “Her boss was gaslighting her by telling her she was always late, even when she arrived on time.”
- “It took her a long time to recognize that his constant contradictions were a form of gaslighting.”
- “The friend group turned toxic when they started gaslighting each other over small misunderstandings.”
- “She realized he had been gaslighting her into believing her feelings were irrational.”
- “Repeated gaslighting can seriously impact someone’s mental health, making them doubt themselves.”
- “She felt isolated because his gaslighting made her question her perception of reality.”
- “They tried gaslighting her into believing she was overreacting, even though her concerns were valid.”
- “If you feel like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, you might be experiencing gaslighting.”
- “Friends stepped in when they noticed her partner was gaslighting her about things that never happened.”
Example Conversations
A text conversation between two friends:
- Friend 1: I think I am going insane.
- Friend 2: Why do you say that?
- Friend 1: I keep waking up in the morning not being able to find anything. My wallet, my phone, everything is never in the same place I put it when I got home.
- Friend 2: Are you sure that you are leaving it where you think?
- Friend 1: I am positive.
- Friend 2: Well, then you are not going insane. Someone is gaslighting you.
A conversation between two co-workers:
- Co-worker 1: Linda, did you finish that report I asked you to finish up last week?
- Co-worker 2: What are you talking about? You never asked me to finish any report.
- Co-worker 1: The financial report. I asked you to finish it for me.
- Co-worker 2: No you did not Linda! You always do that report yourself and never let me help. Stop gaslighting me and trying to get me in trouble for your mistakes!
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